Falls Apart
by Bhryn Astairre
Summary: [OneShot] Clorith: The Song of the Planet, was it really a prophecy?


**-- Falls Apart --**

_( A/N: A sort of fanfic/poemfic oneshot in the name of the gone, but never forgotten - I dedicate this Fanfic to aunts Cassie and Lesley, who taught me to see the world with angels and rainbows and all the devils in-between. Rest well until we meet somewhere else, sometime else - B xxx )_

"And I don't feel I mean to go on  
I was happier singing along, the way  
I had things I need to say  
But now it's like a swallowed tape  
That holds my face from the inside:  
Cause everything just falls apart  
Cause everything just fell apart for me

I cracked my head and broke my  
I cracked my head and broke my  
I cracked my head and broke my heart  
So, woe is me..."

-Falls Apart - Hurt -

----------------------------------- 00 --------------------------------------

_...and angels waking, hearts defending  
__Of all the ills and ails proclaiming  
__That feet so soft and heart so pure  
__In chest of love that in death, endure;  
__The maiden white, the maiden bright  
__Alas the maiden falls into night..._

-----------------------------------

She opened her eyes in the dark of the room, staring up at the low ceiling and the cracks the paint had left there. In the other room, she could sense the presence of Zack and his breathing, soft and deep, caught in the throes of slumber. Unbidden, she knew the familiar prickle of tears in her eyes, the old sensation of choking that often came with the nightmare which cycled every week or so, leaving her sweating and disorientated in her own bed. Clutching the covers to her, she waited for the shaking and the tears to stop; she did not weep loudly or even pucker her face up as many women tend to do when weeping. The face of the girl remained smooth and unemotional, just leaking salty tears that whispered of seas and sunsets and distant lands and the song fading in her ears.

Eventually the shaking did cease and she was able to unfurl from her almost foetal like position. The sigh, escaping her lips, was long and drawn out, filled with malady and confusion. The song which she'd heard her mother sing softly to her when she was a child; the lyrics were so sad, so deeply sad that she moved to the quick by them.

Once, Elmyra had caught her coming down whilst still crying in the odd way that afflicted her after such dreams; the sort of lost, lonely weeping that she was unsure what she was crying for. The mother hen had clucked around her and settled chilled hands to the mug of hot milk, but all she could so was stare at the milk and the froth and the exploding bubbles and wonder why she couldn't breathe through the sobbing.

Many times she had visited libraries or spoken to adults when growing up about the strange song that filled every other night, without specifically explaining where she knew the song from and not a single one had any information about the dirge. It was a dirge, she decided, staring into the dark of that night with haunted eyes, a dirge that knew her intimately but she couldn't recall the name of. So in exhaustion, now she was warm again and thoughts of tomorrow with Zack pressed on her mind, she soon drifted off to sleep.

But it seemed only moments later that she was being shaken awake by a strong hand, creaking open her tired eyes to look up at the grinning face that looked down upon her, bursting with glee.

"Zack?" She mumbled blearily, sitting up slowly so her unbound hair fell around her. Her room, despite the terrors that had filled her night, was normal. The walls were soft green, the carpet pale and the vase still full of flowers she had grown and picked on her lonesome. "What are you doing in my room?"

"Doing?" He cocked his head at her; he was handsome, she told herself like she did every time he smiled or gestured, handsome and polite and incredibly charming. "It's almost eleve-"

"OH no!" Aerith cried, pushing him away and leaping out of the bed to patter to her window where, with a severe lack of caution, she threw the window blinds open, knocking off a pot of flowers so it crashed down below. Sure enough, the sunshine that was so rare flooded her precious garden. Her heart turned to lead; she'd planned on spending the whole day with Zack seeing as...

She turned a little and looked at him sadly. He'd taken the time to brush him self down from her somewhat enthusiastic shove, smiling sheepishly at her from under that flood of black hair. "Told you."

...because Zack was going away tomorrow. And neither of them knew just how long he would be gone for. He'd told her so enthusiastically that it was a big mission, the type that'd get him recognition, a pay rise, enough to get them a place to live. Them. As a couple. Even her mother had finally warmed up to the boyishly adorable Soldier, First Class. Which made her joyful, because being around Zack, she felt safe. Safe from ShinRa, safe from the Turks and safe from the terrors in her dreams.

"What?" He asked suddenly and Aerith gave a jerk, realising she'd been staring at him wordlessly this entire time, pink flooding her cheeks.

"N-nothing Zack," she blurted, kicking her own shin mentally, "I need to get dressed if we're gonna go soon."

"Alright then." He folded his arms.

"...I need to get dressed without you watching!" Aerith added, going bright red, to which he chuckled and left the room with a wave of her hand. The flood of heat was spreading down her chest by the time the door clicked shut. Really, he had the most irritating way of being in the way and deliberately ignoring what she meant when she said to do something. But, she supposed that was what she loved about him, in a way.

So as she got dressed, she chatted to him through her door. First the night clothes had to come off, they smelt too strongly of the fear that beleaguered her in the night when no one was around to take care of the demons and devils that lived there. He said, "How about we take a trip to the theatre? There's a play on called Loveless."

"Loveless? Isn't that the tragic one?"

"Yeah, this girl meets a guy after many, many years of hardship, they fall in love-"

"Zack, don't ruin it for me! I want the ending to be a surprise."

"You like surprises, eh?"

"What sane woman doesn't?" A quick fumble as she tried to work the buttons down her dress and the ensuing sigh of exasperation as she managed to miss the top two buttons connecting and had to redo the entire thing, from the neck to where the dress split at the hem. Towards the hem she grew lazy and just left a couple of buttons unfinished. "What else?"

"Hmmm... well, you eat like a starving family, so lunch and then maybe we can go do some window shopping, then dinner, dancing and a quiet walk on the upper plate together before I have to go."

She tried to keep her voice steady and calm, "I suppose that makes the most sense. Drop me off at the station, won't you?"

"Would I ever leave a lady in distress?" His voice teased and the door gave a creak, to which she squeaked and put her weight on it whilst trying to tug her boots on.

"Zack!"

"Alright, alright angel, I won't. Scouts honour."

"Were you _really_ a scout?"

"No."

"Oh, you're _awful_!" She laughed, finally opening the door to smile at him as she fixed the last bits of her hair into the lazy, easy ponytail she preferred, the pink ribbon and the milky white materia fixed into place among the strands of sun kissed brown. "But I'm ready."

"A record time too," He grinned and her heart skipped a beat or twelve, "Only ten minutes. Normally I'd be waiting an hour or so..."

She just kept laughing as she took his arm and together they left for their day of adventure together...

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_...dreaming of you in the distance  
__Speaking softly in your gentle whispers  
__That only I can hear and understand;  
__Across the fair and weathered land,  
__A grave in passing, grave forsaken  
__'No' wished the soul of the maiden,  
__'Tell me please, you are mistaken.'  
__The planet replied, 'Sadly, he is taken.'_

------------------------------------

Years passed between that day and now, where she looks curiously at the body in the flowers, angled and broken with blood dripping from a temple wound. Aerith had spent this time, telling herself that the dream where Zack had come to see her, a few months ago, meant that he was coming home, not like the other visions she had. She couldn't bear it. But... when news flashed up of a terrorist captured and killed, along with his face on the news, she could no longer pretend. So it was, today, months ahead, that she found herself staring down at someone who could have been his brother for the clothes matched the First Class uniform so precisely.

She leaned over him, gently touching his wound so it repaired together, torn edges coming together softly, gently without noise or pain for the one such a grievous wound had been inflicted. Slowly, as she murmured in her native tongue, Cetra, he came around and opened his eyes to look up at her.

They were blue, bright, glowing blue.

"...Hmm?" he said, trying to figure her out from her surroundings and she pulled away with a shy blush.

"Um, you fell down into my church, gave me a real scare. Are you alright?"

"I think so, everything still seems attached."

She backed off a little, tugging her necklace and playing with the fraying cotton ends, whilst shyly looking him up and down with a blush on her cheeks, "That's good. I'd hate to find a finger lurking in the flowerbeds."

"Huh, flowers?"

"Yes, the ones you're sitting on."

"Ah!" And he was up, moving with awkward tiptoes from the flowers he'd crushed under his weight unwittingly, blushing as he did so. She covered her mouth, watching him skip off was endearing, and reminded her so much of the jokes she'd hear about the days Zack spent in the corps. "I'm sorry...hey, haven't we met before?"

"Uh?" Now it was her turn to catch flies in astonishment, her mouth was paused halfway open. "W-we did?"

"Yeah, you were selling flowers."

"Oh that's right; you bought on, when the explosion happened." Aerith smiled, "Nice to see you again, just not in the best circumstances. I hope the flower was alright for whoever got it?"

"What makes you think it wasn't for me."

Her look was plainly disbelieving. "Yeah, guys just like you, purchasing a pink flower..."

"Alright, alright," he chuckled, "I gave it to Marlene."

She blushed and looked away, "Ah, s-someone special, to you?"

"No, not like that! She's my boss's daughter, four years old-ish, cute kid."

"O-oh," What kind of idiot was she making herself out to be, so she laughed nervously and bent to touch her flowers, trying to coax them back into being upright and helping to pulp out the broken stems from where he'd pressed down on them, "Well, I didn't get a name last time either, kinda rude, eh? I'm Aerith Gainsborough, the flower merchant."

"What a beautiful name. I'm Cloud, Cloud Strife. I... do a little bit of everything." He smiled, and she noticed he really was handsome in that conventional way that a lot of the youth tended to strive towards, but the kind that was achieved effortlessly. Born with those good looks. She smiled at the name and tilted her head. The church, halfway falling down already, was a sorry state but he seemed to add an air of delight to her surroundings.

"What an interesting name. Cause much trouble?"

He laughed as he caught onto her meaning and came over to help her straighten the flowers out.

Even after the Turks, after the flight through Wall Market and the terrors of a sewer, ShinRa and threatened captivity: he waded through it all and rescued her and she didn't quite know how to repay the debt. She wordlessly tallied each count up, wondering when she'd be able to give him what was needed to keep the balance even between them. So after he told his story in a far away inn in Kalm, white walls and cream bed coverlets, she sat close to him when all others had gone and tilted her head.

"Cloud," the flower girl whispered, "I _owe_ you so much already."

"Aerith, you don't owe me anything."

She touched her chest gently, above the heart, "I feel I do. I'll spend my life, making it up to you. Say... what was it like having a childhood friend? I don't remember having any friends in the lab really..."

"It's odd. I think she was my childhood friend but... there are a lot of memories missing, holes, you know? I guess having someone to grow up with though," He tilted his head backwards, eyes crinkling as he tried to remember but she didn't want to force it at all, "It's comforting, knowing something links you and someone else to the same place, the same memories. It affirms things, I guess."

"I wish I had grown up with other people then." She sighed.

"Then, in the next life, unless I come back as a _leaf_, lets all grow up together. Eh? So we won't be alone."

She smiled, eyes sparkling bright green in delight, "Cloud." her voice strung taut with emotion, but he smiled artlessly at her and she knew she was in love, she knew it as deeply as she knew that the sun would rise and the day would dawn and life, long after everything that came their way, would go on.

------------------------------------

_...so gather together what you will  
__What sticks or stones or broken tools;  
__Maybe the fairest of the fair you pick  
__Or choose the damned most among fools  
__But gather them close and into your heart  
__For the journey is long, the journey is long.  
__Give them no secrets but tell no lies,  
__Poor maiden, your journey is forever long._

------------------------------------

The spiral of love was damning and the dreams consumed her feverish nights, waking her sometimes and setting her adrift about the woods of their campsite or the halls of where they slept for the night; an illuminated ghost caught in the headlights of her nightmares. But the song haunted her as much as she haunted her own life in a strange shadowy way, existing in a half-life at night.

The daylight life of Aerith was filled with friendship and love. Friendship had grown to become so strong for her that she grew to be close friends with Tifa and Red, even the sometimes foul mouthed pilot they'd picked up at Rocket Town, Cid Highwind. It wasn't that she didn't get along with the others; just those three seemed to spark her greatest intellectual conversations.

If she wasn't lying in the grass, trying to count the stars with Tifa and trading jokes and gentle jibes, or scrawling in their diaries together, then she was trying to figure out the workings of the world the long way round with Red in the sunshine, trailing their way towards their next goal tirelessly; even Cid she managed to persuade to try and cut down on his 40-a-day habit, warning him that **no** woman found brown teeth and a voice like a rasp attractive, and he treated her like the sister he never had, the big brother she'd always dreamed of.

And there was of course, Cloud. _Cloud Strife_.

He spent some days listening to her just talk as she tried to explain as inexpertly as she could about how the cycle of everything went around and around, and nothing could escape, or perhaps plotting their future together in heady secret where she thought she might burst from the love she knew inside... but couldn't find the words for.

But the words, she kept them to herself jealously, hoarding them for the perfect day when she'd be able to say them, able to watch his face light up in delight and then he'd take her into his arms and together, they'd end it all the perfect happy ever after way. She knew, as only a Cetra could know, his heart beat with hers, his star aligned with hers, his smile was hers and hers alone. He smiled for his angel.

Sharing odd touches of her fingers to his, the electric brush of her arm against his, however innocent and accidental; the fumbling blush and then easy words, no hesitancy between either of them, she loved it, she loved having it. Then as they hurried to find the key to the temple, she was lucky enough to get to stop overnight at the Gold Saucer and she knew, now or never, this was her chance. Together, with his quick agreement, they toured the pleasure park, even taking part in a play where Cloud messed his lines up, just to watch her laugh. But his lips pressed eagerly to the back of her hand made her heart beat faster and the corresponding blush on his cheeks didn't lie.

After, they took the Gondola ride to see the world from high up and she sat across from him.

As fireworks blasted, broke and fluttered across the sky with fiery hearts shattering, falling apart, she looked up shyly to him and found that he was looking at her just as nervously. So he tried to find the right words to explain that she wanted to brush aside his holes in his memory that she was there to save him, she'd pay her debt by helping make everything right in the world that was Cloud, in the world that was her entire life now.

"Cloud," she breathed, "I'm trying to find you."

"But, I'm right here," his expression was confused and she mentally kicked herself.

"No, I mean... I'm trying to find... _you_."

"...oh..."

"But, one day I will," she looked to the window, glad the shadows hid her heavy blush and the illuminating light of fireworks faded it harmlessly into her pale skin, "And when I do, everything will be alright and you won't be so alone."

"I'll be looking forward to that."

Aerith glanced back at him, then leaned over and kissed his cheek without a single morsel of hesitation, feeling the heat of his skin under her lips, but neither did she hurry to pull back, drawing back slowly instead so he could press his hand to her cheek in wonder. "Cloud, this moment, it won't last forever."

"Then I'll find other moments with you in the future."

"C-cloud..." she blinked, voice failing her.

-----------------------------------

_...the pain, the pity, the fatal blow  
__The aching soul to know such woe  
__Betrayed by love and love to know,  
__From fatal feelings such things grow;  
__Forsake him not, in his darkest hour  
__No matter what ills he might achieve;  
__Forsake her not, forgotten hero,  
__No matter what your heart may deceive._

-----------------------------------

The journey had been long and tiring, draining both emotionally and mentally. She'd been forced to put Tifa and Red to sleep with Sleepel spells, trudging her way slowly northward after visiting Cloud in his fever dream. She'd been in his room after putting the others to quiet embraces of nothingness that would ensure her escape. She'd kissed his lips with lingering tears and left, as only she could do, as only she would do, hearing that horrible song burning in her ears as she tried her hardest not to sob with every passing step towards her greatest task yet. She didn't know entirely, but the Planet assured her that somewhere up ahead, fate lay in store.

So she'd abandoned those she loved.

So they'd be safe.

Heart heavy, she'd come here and began the lengthy prayer, putting all of her compassion into it, willing it, hoping for it. Voices and songs echoed about her and she could almost swear, with tears in her eyes, closed tightly so they were forced to escape in a leaking stream down her cheeks, that Zack and her mother, Ifalna stood at each shoulder but at a distance, urging her own with kind, thoughtful words.

So she sang softly, the words she knew by rote, by heart, lodged in her soul from her memories of hearing her mother sing it softly to her each night, when in childhood captivity at ShinRa inc. Each note shivered in the crisp air, pure, gentle and harmonising with the sounds of the Planet which began to slowly hum along.

Then everything stopped.

So she opened her eyes, knowing it was all over, she'd finally accomplished the greatest task set to a Cetra. She felt weak from days without food and when she looked up from the disorientation that the magic of this sacred place of her ancestors had left in her, she was staring into Cloud eyes. He was looking down at her in horror.

So she looked down too, surprised to see a foot of steel sticking through her middle, dripping with blood. It stained the front of her travel worn pink dress, pooling around her knees. A voice in the back of her mind, the part of herself that dealt with her healing powers, coolly informed her that a vital artery had been struck and it would be over soon.

Then as someone pulled hard on the sword, she collapsed forward with a funny little sigh. The removal of the blade caused the wound to open further and blood pumped out at a faster rate. She knew she was dying.

It was only natural. She knew it was.

But being held there in his arms, seeing his tears, she never wanted so hard for them to stop. She'd promised, he'd promised: two promises broken. But not once had she given up on him, not in his darkest hours.

As her eyes slid closed slowly, her lips smiling, she knew he'd not been deceived either, for the first time in a long while. As death came on black wings, she realised she was closer to making him whole...

But...it was too late now.

------------------------------------

_...She fears the water, it lays a claim  
__To bones and blood and body broken;  
__So take this sacrificial offering, she says  
__It isn't much, a simple token.  
__And leave behind the lives you changed,  
__The loves you made, the ties that bind,  
__The friendship you thought you'd never find  
__Flee into the darkness of the purest mind._

_Into water, you must go, you must go  
__And sink, and float, and fly away;  
__An angel falling down into the dirt  
__Or fading like tomorrow, into today._

------------------------------------

He cupped a hand about the ribbon, staring helplessly at the water and the kids that played around him.

She'd walked through that door, and despite her parting words, he knew there was so little left here for him to truly latch onto. He had his friends but never before, with the madness of Meteor then the fatal incursion of Geo Stigma, the backlash of the Planet against those who endured through the willpower of the Cetra flower girl alone, with it all... he was still a little alone.

So he spent his days much the same, but perhaps a bit more caring to the others, replaying those soft memories in his mind each time he went by a field of flowers. He could see her standing, knee deep and running, laughing at him to catch up. Evenings spent away from home in hotels recalled the frightened nights she'd spend awake after bad dreams, humming as she prepared hot milk to try and sleep and he'd watch quietly in worry so she didn't notice. Each time someone made a promise; he never said _'I'll be back'_ because it could be one of the hardest promises he might ever make, and break.

Instead he focused on the one promises of enjoying the live he now shouldered for Zack and for Aerith, two people whom he loved beyond reason: his best friend and his lost love. For both of them, he tried to become more outgoing, tried to forgive and forget his past, tried to focus on the friendships he had now, taking special note of Tifa and the children, so the raven haired fighter had someone to share her problems with and her memories of the flower girl she kept bottled inside, so the children had someone they would depend on, like Aerith had depended on so long ago.

But time being as it is, he passed.

---------------------------------

_Lifestream._

_A flowing river of eternity that runs in and around the very Planet we live on. It supports and sustains us, it guides and sings to us with either joy or woe and takes special delight in new beginnings. It loves stories and even though it opposed my decision, it continued to flourish with human life. Learning to be compassionate, it grows now with the love of those who look towards a bright future._

_But once, it wasn't always so bright, was it?_

_I lived a hard life, a very lonely life. Even Cloud, who had Tifa and others, wasn't as lonely as I was. I was less than nothing. I was an experiment. I was hardly ever called by name. But that's okay, because it's in the past. I don't dwell on it. I used to say 'Tomorrow counts more than today!' and went rushing towards that bright new horizon. So I guess it was only natural we all fell in together._

_Was it your quest...or mine?_

_Sure, we all said it was to kill Sephiroth, but really, I did a lot too. Without me, you'd have been pretty much done for, I have to say. It hurts to say it! I'm not a brash person; Tifa would tell you how modest I can be. Self effacing, really. But Cloud - i want to believe this: that I came along with you all, because I love you._

_Because you love me._

_You did love me, didn't you?_

_I knew it. Ah, are you blushing? A shame I can't see it here._

_The Cetran prayer, I'd heard it in my dreams. But not the prayer for Holy... it was a prophecy of sorts. There's more, but I can't tell you now. You'll know it when you hear it. The Planet tells me we're soul mates. If so, no matter how far the time or distance, we'll find each other._

_So it's okay now, love, let go... and we'll dissolve and return another time, when we're needed again._

_Come with me, fall apart with me._

_Fall apart..._

----------------------------------------

He blinked up at the flower held to his nose.

The girl holding it was his age, four or so, the daughter of the botanist who had just moved into town. She was a cute little thing, with bright green eyes and hair cut to her shoulders, a soft golden brown. She seemed to favour pink or green clothes, a big pink bow in her hair like a headband, stopping the hair from falling too far into her eyes. "For you," she said shyly.

He stood up, about her height which was unusual, because he was short for his age. He realised she must be pretty short for a girl, but that was alright, least he didn't have to break his neck to look up. His hair was blonde, a bit long and needing a haircut and his eyes were bright blue, like his clothes: he loved the colour blue, it was like the sky. So he took the flower and smiled nervously: not a lot of kids tended to talk to him, he was a bit of a loner really. "T-thanks," he said, just as shyly.

"Um...I'm new," she breathed, coming to stand closer and peering around the school yard in trepidation, "I don't know anyone."

"Oh, well... you probably don't wanna talk to me."

"Why?"

"Cause...everyone else doesn't."

"I'm not 'everyone' am I?" She smiled with the logic complete, wholesome and bright. "I'd like to talk to you."

"R-really!"

"Mmm!" she bounced a little and took his hand, "I'm Aerith!"

"Aerith, pretty name," he smiled back, "I'm Cloud. Let's be best friends!"

"And grow up and get married," she giggled.

He blushed, but stuck the flower behind his ear.

Twenty years later, the very same flower rested in a photo album, dried and carefully kept, atop the varied pictures of them and their circle of friends: Cid, Barrett, Red, Yuffie, Reeve, the Pastor Vincent, Tifa in her pretty pink dress and him and that little girl, arm in arm: Cloud Strife...and Aerith, his wife.

--------------------------------------

_...If feathers fall from her pearly wings,  
__Then gather them up, to make her whole;  
__The Maiden pure who travels this Planet  
__With cherished promises made in her soul.  
__Another chance, from the water clean  
__Raise again, a phoenix from your ashes;  
__And once again, return to love, to live  
__With war and strife and all that clashes!_

_The Earth so pure, the Cloud so free,  
__Float them far away, where they can be;  
__Where the sleeping demon can tell no lie;  
__With wings restored, take to the sky_.


End file.
